Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Cry me out...

I've been complaning about my internship most of the time. I knew I couldn't say much about them. I'm the one who chose it. I have to deal with it now. But then at the very beginning, I was told that this was an interior design company. But it turned out to be an interior construction company, and they don't even have any interior design division. All they do is just kitchen, and yet modular kitchen which means all the design and measurement are fixed and it doesn't require any design on it. All you need to do is just fit in the kitchen into the given space. THAT'S IT ! (Frankly, I have no idea why do they need us here, as a 3D renderer?)

I'm starting to get used to just rendering and fairly doing nothing. But today, I felt so useless here. Although they only pass us their kitchen design and ask us to render, or maybe help out on presentation board. Did I mentioned us? Nah, It's only Max whom they will pass it to. I'm not being jealousy here. I just think it's unfair. He has to render all the 3D alone till midnight or even not sleeping. Me? Just sitting down and not doing anything. Like a vase.

It's not like I did not ask them is there anything I could help. But apparently my attempts always fail. They will tell me it's okay or just say no to me. But whenever they have a new projects, the first one they go to will be Max. I can't help him his work because it will be in the same area. The material and lighting might not be the same.

How I wish I could just tell them I quit and get away from here. I'm insulted. If you don't like my render, tell me. I'm here to learn and to improve. Not to sit down here doing nothing and try not to fall asleep.

I couldn't believe that I'm crying over these. I knew for sure my marks and results will be affected. How are you going to grade someone that is not doing anything? For sure my marks will be super low, nevertheless they will have no idea what to write on my reference letter. But is it my fault that I will get low grades in my internship training? Did I not trying to help out? No, its obviously not my fault and yes I wanted to help but apparently I'm not welcomed here.


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